Bring Back the Draft

 

It is quite clear now that the Iraq insurgency is not in its last throes, as bombings continue to decimate the fragile balance of apparent independence and complete political obedience the USA is trying to establish there. In spite of all this, the current administration in Washington seems set on the same course as it is with all of its failed policy initiatives: repeat the same talking points over and over, no matter what is actually happening. But we all know that simply saying something doesn’t make it so, and nobody knows that more so than the people in Iraq. It appears that the only way to bring an end to this cycle of violence while fulfilling the United States’ goal of creating a Middle-East satellite state would be to increase the ground forces in the nation, which, at this point, would mean nothing short of a draft. Fear not though, because I have found a solution that the vast majority of Americans, from the South to the Seaboards, will agree with.

On the surface, my solution is simple to the point of being crude and useless: bring back the draft. It goes much deeper than that, however, because the draft I am suggesting would not be like drafts of the past. A full-fledged draft in the case of Iraq is completely unnecessary, but more ground troops are required if “Iraqi Freedom” is to be achieved. Therefore, the draft I am suggesting would involve specific groups of people.

First in line for the draft would be… the elite. No, not the “Elite” that right-wing media pundits refer to, since their definition of elite includes people living in slums, which isn’t really true to the definition of the word (and I’ll deal with those pundits in my draft plan later). The elite I would draft would be the true elites, and not just any elites, but the evil ones. I’m talking about people who have contributed to society with nothing more than their individualistic capitalist ferocity, and have 7-figure incomes as a result. This includes anybody who has made substantial monetary gains from the current Iraq invasion. It’s time for you to prove you’ve earned that money; it’s time for your backs to be bruised a little. I’m sure many of the people you’ve fucked over would agree with me.

As for the pundits I referred to earlier, they’d be next. Again, not just any pundits would be drafted. My draft plan would entail enlisting the pundits who constantly (and quite possibly intentionally) miss the point of every issue and reduce all current events into one bi-chromatic picture. The pundits who seem to believe that the only important war is the one between the blindly polarized ideologies that dominate the pop-culture politics of today could use a healthy dose of Iraq reality.

If, after both of these defined groups have been enlisted and shipped off, more soldiers are still needed (and I expect more will be, as many of the people who fit into the second group are probably in the first as well), there are a couple of other groups that could be drafted. For example: how about drafting the people who protest the protestors of the war? After all, isn’t it fair to think that someone who links support of the troops with support of the war would not be upset if someone else linked their support of the war with a willingness to fight in it? Both of those absurd logic jumps seem to be around equal distance.

This draft would also be beneficial from an economic standpoint, as many of the people in the two main groups to be drafted would be able to pay their own way. As a matter of fact, they’d have to pay their own way, and then some, as part of repaying their debt to society. This would save plenty of money that could go towards helping those who would otherwise be putting their lives at risk by joining the military because they can’t earn a living wage while working at the Burger Shack.

It amazes me that nobody else has thought of a solution so simple, yet so effective, such as this one. I’m having a hard time thinking of anyone who would object to a draft strategy such as this one, aside from the people who would be drafted, but I’ve already proven their arguments and opinions invalid, so they don’t really count. This really is THE solution to America’s troop-shortage issues. The only thing that would make more sense would be pulling out of Iraq (or never going there in the first place).

cb@chrisbattaglia.com