ITHACA, N.Y. – 25-year old Ithaca native Jim Higgins can’t wait to be sent to Iraq.
“Iraq is the reason I joined up,” he exclaimed proudly outside of the local recruitment centre.
Having just enlisted in the infantry, Jim’s tour of duty is still not a guarantee. He has to complete his basic combat training and pass an eye exam before he can legally be part of Operation Mission: Accomplished. But that doesn’t dissuade Jim, an English Literature graduate from Cornell University.
“Almost all great army tales have that part at the beginning where the protagonist goes through training, and I’m glad mine will too. I wasn’t really sure how I was going to start the story without one.
“I hope I get one of those really angry Drill Sergeants,” he added.
Jim’s reason for joining the army is somewhat unusual. He isn’t joining out of love for his country, or to carry on a family tradition of service, or even because he’s flat broke and the welfare office cut him off. Jim is joining the army for one reason, and one reason only.
“I want to write a successful novel. Or a screenplay. No wait: a novel that gets adapted into a screenplay.” He affirmed with a nod of his head. “That’s the ticket right there.”
According to the army’s head of recruiting in Ithaca, Sgt. William Sypes, this isn’t a new concept. In fact, it is becoming a common occurrence for his recruiting station, and others near college campuses.
“Jim is the 3rd person this month to enlist for the book deal possibilities. Last year, we only had a couple join with that in mind, but this year is a different story. There must have been at least a dozen of them in the past two months. And after talking with some of the recruiting heads in other college zones, it sounds like we aren’t the only ones witnessing this trend.”
The Sergeant declined to comment on any of the potential nicknames he and the other Sergeants were considering for use during the training of this new breed of grunt, but did say that it would be as demoralizing, crude, and offensive as past army nicknames have been.
Up until now, Jim’s writing career has been anything but a success, but he feels joining the army is just what he needs to get his work recognized.
“I spent years honing my craft by studying the masters at Cornell, but after I graduated, no one was interested in my work,” Jim lamented. “I tried everything: a schizophrenic serial killer story, a heart-warming coming-of-age tale set in 1960’s Wisconsin entitled ‘The Cheese Rebellions,’ I even worked on a draft for a series of children’s novels about a summer magic camp. Nothing caught the fancy of the publishers. They told me my stories lacked honesty.
“After my service is through, I’ll have a real-life experience to draw from, along with numerous successful modern war books full of great plot ideas that I can borrow. It’ll be perfect.”
Sgt. Sypes is less optimistic about Pvt. Higgins’ chances of hitting it big.
“I’m not sure what the success rate is for these guys just joining to write books, but it can’t be very high. Half of them barely make it through training, and if they do get to Iraq, they have to survive their tour there. Then there’s the matter of actually writing a decent story based on their experiences, which is no easy matter. I know; I’m currently working with an editor to put together a collection of unbelievable recruiting stories.”
Sypes’ editor, Tom McAllister of Combat Publishing Inc, has the “highest hopes” aspiring army novelists like Higgins, but also mentioned he was trying to branch out to more obscure angles of warfare.
“We’re currently working with a member of the Iraqi insurgency on a book detailing his ‘struggle against the infidels,’” McAllister revealed. “Obviously, I can’t give you any details, but so far it’s going great, and he has promised a ‘killer ending’ that will blow us all away. As you can tell, we’re very excited about it.”