Meet Touchdown Jesus: a 62 ft tall, tacky-as-fuck display of Christian idolatry in Ohio. Touchdown Jesus cost $250,000 to build and was also known as “Big Butter Jesus,” which I can only assume is a reference to Jesus’ recent Elvis-like weight gain (Michael Jackson’s death hit him pretty hard).

The existence of Touchdown Jesus is funny enough on its own. But wait, it gets better:

That’s right: Touchdown Jesus burned to the ground after being struck by lightning.

Out of all of nature’s destructive forces, lightning has always been the easiest one to point to as an act of god, simply because it’s so specific. Rather than, say, flooding an entire blasphemous city, a bolt of lightning will only hit a tree, or a street light, or a six-storey statue of Jesus letting everyone know the extra point is good. Lightning is also so sudden and powerful, it seems supernatural. To someone who thinks positively charged ions were invented by devil-worshiping evolutionists, anything so directed and instantly destructive must be an act of god.

But why? Why would god strike down such an excessive and unintentionally farcical tribute to his bastard son? Maybe he felt that a quarter-million dollars is better-spent feeding hungry children or paying for their education. Maybe he has taste. Maybe he just doesn’t like football. Whatever the reason, the message was loud and clear:

Thanks, god.