Best Director
• Who will win: Martin Scorsese for The Departed
• Who should win: Martin Scorsese for Raging Bull, Goodfellas, Taxi Driver, etc…
Scorsese better fucking win. I don’t care if The Departed wasn’t his best film. I don’t care if it is an Americanized version of Infernal Affairs. The academy owes Scorsese for all the times they’ve spat in his face. My only hope is that Scorsese wins, but doesn’t show as a nice big “fuck you” to Hollywood. If anyone has the right to give all of them the finger, it’s him.
Best Actor
• Who will win: Will Smith for The Pursuit of Happyness
• Who should win: Sacha Baron Cohen for Borat
I haven’t seen The Pursuit of Happyness, but I’m sure Will Smith is great in it. Likewise with Forest Whitaker in The Last King of Scotland. So why should Cohen win for Borat? Three words: balls in face.
Best Actress
• Who will win: Helen Mirren for The Queen
• Who should win: Someone from a movie I’ve seen
Just like the foreign film category, this one is filled with movies I haven’t seen, and don’t have much interest in seeing. I am tired of hearing about The Queen, though, and no matter who wins here, people will still be talking about it.
Best Adapted Screenplay
• Who will win: The Departed
• Who should win: Borat or Children of Men
This is probably my favourite category, because I like three out of the five films nominated. Borat deserves to win because of the seamless transitions between scripted and unscripted segments, and the fact that it was hilarious. Children of Men deserves all the recognition it can get because it was simply an amazing movie. But I do think The Departed will prevail, because like I keep saying, this is the year the academy says sorry to Scorsese in the only way they know how.
Best Original Screenplay
• Who will win: Letters From Iwo Jima
• Who should win: Stranger Than Fiction
I just know in the pit of my stomach that the academy has to give another award to Paul Haggis. They love him so much for making them feel so good about themselves with Crash. Personally, I think he’s a hack, and all of the melodramatic bullshit that I’ve seen from him so far confirms that. Stranger Than Fiction’s script, on the other hand, was subtle, clever, and enjoyable. How did it not even get nominated?
Best Picture
• Who will win: The Departed
• Who should win: …
I liked The Departed, and I liked Little Miss Sunshine. Babel is Crash 2, Letters From Iwo Jima is Clint Eastwood doing whatever he feels like because he knows he’ll be showered with love, and I don’t care about the British royal family. So I’ll be happy if either The Departed or Little Miss Sunshine win, but I’d put my money on The Departed. And then I’ll be relieved, because I won’t have to deal with the fucking Oscars again for a whole year.
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